Speak Bravely

“It’s Only One” by Pricilla Santana

“It’s only one”

Out of a ten-pack

You said you’d quit.

But when?

When you are on your deathbed?

When we all leave you?

But “It’s only one.”

At this point all I hear are lies

And I can’t help but believe in them

Hoping you’d stop.

“It’s only one.” 

One piece of hope I lose that falls into the collection of 16 years.

Alcohol is the black hole in our family that has taken everything,

Hope, trust, love, happiness

The foundation of family.

But “It’s only one”

Till it turns into two

-Three

-Four

Damn I lost count.

Signals are going off in my head

Alerting me of the storm up ahead

Is mom mad?
Are we next?

There go the plans I made for the weekend.

I’ve always wondered if I’m broken like those bottles on the ground 

If your actions have finally caught up with me 

It’s only one set of triggers of denotations 

And it blew up in my face that night

The night that the crickets stopped chirping.

Who would have known that water would be your trigger?

The chairs filled with memories shattered outside?

Those memories burn through my mind.

I can still hear myself cry 

Begging you to calm down.

Police were called and turned away

You said everything was good

Daughter like father I guess

 Only one thing’s

 Different

That night was the night I made a promise

These lips will stay sober. 

I will not fall into the darkness you fell into

“It’s only one” will end with you.

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