In the chamber of my mind, you reside rent-free
You are the unwelcome tenant overwhelming me with hostility
You pound on my core
Anxiety taking control of everything and more
You cling on like a chronic disease
Unwilling to surrender and leave me in peace
You make me feel like I’m drowning in the air that is supposed to give me the freedom to breathe
At age thirteen I raised my hand wanting to speak
Then you stepped in through the door unannounced unwilling to leave me alone
Making yourself at home, you had taken control
And in my attempt to evict you all I could do was stutter, and mutter when all I wanted to do was utter the words in my brain but you wouldn’t allow me to explain
I feel anxious even thinking about you
I feel guilt that will eventually run me over like a stampede if I don’t concede.
I feel as though I can’t have thoughts that aren’t my own without the struggle of you getting in the way and making it difficult.
These are my own thoughts
My own words
My own feelings
My First Amendment right, stripped away from me by an unwelcome guest when I should be the keeper of this home.
You moved in and created a nuisance in a place where I’m meant to feel safe
I’m in charge
I’m the one with the power
You can keep talking but I won’t listen
So please walk out the door
Because Anxiety, I’m bored.